sâmbătă, 21 septembrie 2013

Back in time

 As usually, I met my friend A on the bus. Every morning we used to go to school together. We had a larger group, but we didn’t really care about the rest. She was my best friend. She still is one of my best friends. That morning was the first time I noticed him. A knew him, he was her neighbor. He was 5 years older than me. I wanted to personally meet him. A and C(him) weren’t friends , they barely talked when necessary .
 One day I went out with two of my friends, Andrea and Christine. They both knew him very well, but Andrea was one of his best friends. As she noticed I was blushing when he was the subject of our conversation, she asked me what was going on. Then I told her that I like him. Of course, back then I didn’t even know what a relationship was about. I was eleven years old. He was my first crush. 
 Andrea gave me his Yahoo! Messenger ID. We started talking. We used to talk everyday but when we would see each other on the bus we couldn’t talk. One day he told me he wanted to meet me personally. I was too scared to go out with him alone so I asked Andrea to come with us. So she did. We got to know each other and soon we became best friends. I could have told him anything. It was great. We liked the same music, we had a similar character.
 A year and a half later, he asked me out. We went for a long walk and then we sat on the bench in front of my house. He kissed me. I felt as if we were the only people in the world. I really felt like he was the one. But then again, I was twelve years old and he was my first crush.
 Three days later I went out at 2 A.M to meet him. My parents didn’t know but it seemed so normal to me. Like there wasn’t nothing wrong with a twelve year old girl going out at 2 A.M with a 17 years old boy. I got back at 5.55 A.M, five minutes before my parents alarm clock started to ring. An hour later I was still up thinking about him.
 Unfortunately, a week later C told me that he couldn’t see me anymore, that it was a mistake taking in consideration my age and that we should stay friends. I was devastated but we stayed friends. We didn’t see each other everyday, but we kept going out. We were never alone. He always asked someone to come with us. Usually, that someone was either Andrea, either Christine.
 We kept being friends for a few years, until I turned fifteen and I got into a relationship with a boy, A. We dated for seven months, until my parents stopped letting me see him anymore because of my situation at school. I started being a mean girl. I skipped classes, I had bad grades and respond to my teachers in an inappropriate way. He didn’t seem to care, though. I was broken-hearted.
 After A and I broke up, I started going out with C again. I found the friend I lost a while ago. Once again, we became best friends and we were going out almost every day, until one day, when he became distant. He never told me why.
 In the night between 2011 and 2012 we met at a New Years Eve party. We danced and had a good time. It was 12 o’clock and we went to see the fireworks. When we got back, I wanted to smoke a cigarette. He kept pushing me into kissing him. He pretended that he wanted to teach me how to smoke. I pushed him away, I could see that he was drunk. He kept trying to kiss me. I wouldn’t let him so he took my face in his hands and kissed me. I melt. I responded to his kiss and every memory with him came back, all at once.  But I knew I would regret it so I went back in. We didn’t talk for a week and then he texted me that he was sorry for behaving like that and he hoped we could be friends. And so we were. We started going out again and I was starting to fall for him.
 At the end of March 2012 we went camping with some friends, I started dating one of his best friends, P. It wasn’t for long, though. When C got back home he couldn’t believe it. His cousin told me he was into me and he won’t talk to P anymore. P and I broke up about a week later. I didn’t have any feelings for him, anyway. I was in love with C.
 We started going out regularly again, we went to a music festival in other city and he hold me in his arms all the way home on the train. I told him I had feelings for him but he refused me. I was on the verge of giving up when..
 In October I participated to this project, OpenEd and I went out with some of the participants. As I started talking to this girl from my school, she convinced me not to give up on him. I don't know how. 
 On the 19th of October 2012 we went downtown for some clubbing. As we were wondering around the town, we got into this club, Flex. I promised myself that if he won’t show me any sign that night that he wants to be with me, I’ll stop. And I was on the verge to, until he came back from the bathroom, looked into my eyes and kissed me. I was expecting a ‘I made a mistake, we should stay friends‘ text message in the morning but instead of that I got a ‘ ‘Morning sunshine ‘ message. Only then that we were in a relationship.
 Weeks passed and he surprised in with a gift at Christmas. We couldn’t see each other because he had to work but when he went home he stopped by and left a gift hanging at my door. He called me and asked me if Santa visited me and I told him that he hasn’t. He told me to go and check and there it was. A beautiful toy and a chocolate. I was so happy. I never had such a great, caring boyfriend.
 One day we went out and he bought lighters. I was so glad, I never tried to fly a lighter. It was around 11 P.M when we lighted them and I was scared that the neighbors would call the firemen thinking there’s a fire.  It was just us and the night. The lighters flew away in the sky. It was so beautiful.
C was so kind with me all the time, he’s everything I could’ve imagined and even more. We had our issues, though. I have an awful personality, I am jealous and possessive. I knew I could trust him but I had my limits.
Personally, I still have trust issues because I’ve been hurt too many times and I can’t be a hundred percent secure about anyone.
 It’s something about him that makes me feel special. We’ve been dating for 11 months now and even though it still comes hard for me to tell him I love him, I do. I’m head over heels in love with him. I’m in love with him for the person he is, for what he does and for whom I am when I’m with him.
 The best thing about us is that we are best friends. You know, we can talk about absolutely anything.
When we used to talk 6 years ago, I used to save every conversation I had with him on messenger.  
 Also, it’s funny that I remember every single chat we ever had. I remember what he told me the first time we talked, I remember what he told me that night in Flex, I remember everything.
 It's funny that through these 6 years, everytime I was in a relationship, C and I wouldn't talk.
 It's funny that my brother loves him more that he loves me.
 It's funny that everytime I used to date someone, that someone would tell me "This guy likes you. You can see that by the way he looks at you", and I would always say that it's not possible.
 It's funny that I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not when I'm with him. I can be foolish, childish, bitchy, I can be who I am.
 It's funny that he's the only person on whom I never gave up.
 It's funny that even if I spend the whole day with him, I miss him the second he leaves.
 It's funny that he loves me.

 It's funny that six years ago I thought that he was the one for me, and so I do now. 
 If I’d participate to “Do you want to be a millionaire?” and my question would be “Do you see yourself with C 10 years from now?”, I’d say hell yes.

Behind the veil

 There's this woman, Marwa. She wrote her story on her blog and I think her story travelled the world. She's Muslim and she tells her story and what it's like to be a Muslim woman, how Muslim women are being treated. Marwa ran away from home because she couldn't stand being a slave anymore. She moved to the U.S. I will put the link to the end of the post, go read her article and see what Muslim women REALLY go through.
 I wanted to write a post about this for a long time, but again, I didn't want to offend anyone.
 I, personally, don't agree with Muslim men and the way they treat women. And this is not because I'm female and not otherwise, but because it's wrong.
 You know, when you don't live like them, you don't know what it's like. I'm not saying that I know what it's like, God forbid, I hope I'll never have to know, but I kind of feel like knowing after I read Marwa's article.
 You don't know you're free until you're not anymore.
 I can't understand how they accept such things. I'm sure that if they would gather and fight this thing, they wouldn't be treated like this. On one hand, I'm starting to think that they accept this. Being raised to accept all the tortures, they don't know any other way to live. They don't know what it's like to wear shorts and a simple T-shirt, so they don't feel like wearing that. They don't know what it's like not to be a slave, so they're fine with that.
 A woman, journalist, went to a Muslim-majority country with her work partner. He raped her and she brought him to the court. She ended up being arested, even though HE is the one who raped her.
 There are so many things that seem so normal, so natural to us, such as taking a bath, shaving, going in the kitchen in the middle of the night to drink a glass of water, or even going to the toilet and being there for more than 5 minutes.. for all these things Muslim women are asked for explanations.
 An interesting thing I've heard is that in France the government won't let Muslim women wear the veil on their head. In one hand, I agree because women shouldn't be forces to do that. On the other hand, I don't agree because maybe, JUST MAYBE, there are women who actually want to do so and they won't be able to do it anymore. I'm not sure what to say, what do you think?

 How can this world be so wrong? I pray for all the Muslim women who are treated like slaves and tortured for unreasonable reasons.
As Lana del Rey said in her song, Ride, "It takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is".

This is the link to Marwa's article:  http://aveilandadarkplace.com/2013/07/01/what-it-is-like-to-be-a-muslim-woman-and-why-we-know-what-freedom-is/ . Don't be ignorant, read it. You should open your eyes, maybe then you will appreciate better what you have and how lucky you are!

 Complete this blank by telling me what freedom is for you. You can log in with facebook before answering the blank.

joi, 12 septembrie 2013

The little things

   There's a quote which says ' Day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything's different '. You know, the biggest accomplishments are made out of little things. You don't even know at the moment how much something will affect you.
   I was thinking about this summer lately. It's the first time when I can proudly say that I didn't waste it. It's the first time when I can say that I see a difference looking at the way I was at the beginning of the summer and the way I am now. So many things have changed this summer, and this is exactly what I wanted. This is what I always want. At the beginning of every summer I challenge myself to do something important and I end up doing nothing. I end up being lazy and finding myself at the beginning of another school year. Well, not this summer.
   Through the summer, nothing I did seemed to be important, but now when I look back I'm proud. I got out of my comfort zone. If people will ask me ' What did you do this summer? ' I won't have to say ' Eh, just wasted time around. '.
   Anyway, as the title is 'The little things', I will try to be more specific. You know, every little thing you do can lead to some amazing accomplishments.
   This July, I went out with my GROW project trainer, Rabia, and a classmate of mine, Georgi. As we were talking, I asked Rabia what does it mean to be a freelancer and how would people find her. I was pretty embarassed to ask her, as I assumed to be the only one in the room who didn't know what it means to be a freelancer. Now that I look back I realize that if I wouldn't have asked her, I never would have find out about oDesk. If I never would have found out about oDesk, I wouldn't have earned $100 this summer. Now I can finally afford the make-up course I kept dreaming about for 2 or 3 years. Maybe something will come up and I will use the money for something else, but so far, that's my plan. Maybe I will become a really good make-up artist, maybe I will fail, nobody knows, but a thing is certain. If I wouldn't have asked Rabia what does it mean to be a freelancer, I wouldn't have planned to sign up for the course now.
   My point is that we are given some amazing opportunities everyday without even noticing it. It's up to us if we open or not our eyes to see them, to embrace them.

   In three days, I'm going back to school and this is the first time when I wish summer was longer.

What do you want to do before you die?


miercuri, 4 septembrie 2013


   There's this moment in our lives when we start getting money. As time passes we need more and more and at one point we realize we'd do anything for them. I think that's when we stop spreading them on any useless thing. That's when we start to appreciate them.
   I think that once we start working, once we start making money, we never stop. We become so addicted to money that we never stop making them.
   Recently, a friend of mine from Pakistan, Rabia, told me about this website, oDesk. It is a website for freelancers, where you can hire someone or get a job. Back then I didn't know what exactly is it to be a freelancer. Rabia explained me that it practically means that you work whenever you want, however you want. There are tons of jobs in anything you're interested in. It doesn't matter if you want to write articles, be a virtual assistant, develop a website or work in photoshop, there are hundreds of jobs that are waiting for you to apply to them. I managed to make some money in a short period of time. I work as a article writer and video editor, but I've had step-by-step photographer job, as well as letter writing and expanding short stories.
   Besides my virtual jobs, I decided with a friend of mine to have this little business. It's all about hand-made stuff, especially bracelets. We decided to start off just in our town, and if everything goes well, we'll expand it to the whole country.

these are a few bracelets I've made .

aand this is something I've been working on today:)

You see, there are soo many ways to make money if you're creative. You can get money out of anything in the world. 

There's this romanian song which has a lyric that says 'It's not the money that make the man, it's the man that makes the money' ( Carla's Dreams - Scrisoare fratelui mai mic )