This might be the most personal post I’ve ever written . Truth to be told , I always wanted to help people . To change them . To make the world a better place .. But how can I do all these when I feel like shit ? I admit that I’m not self-confident , but how can I be when I’ve never chose the right person to put my trust in ? I started to believe that there aren’t people to be trusted . It’s sad that at 17 years old I can put my hand on my heart and say ‘ I’m used to be disappointed . ‘ It’s sad that I expect people to disappoint me .My self-confidence is so fucked-up that I always think ‘ why would you choose me when you can choose them ? ‘ I feel like crying and screaming and I have nobody to talk to because I’m just too scared that they aren’t worth my trust . These are the moments when I wish I was a cold-hearted .
Some people say that a human being stops trusting the others when he/she once cared too much . If that’s true , then there’s the answer to my question . But then again , I cared too much more than once .
I think that the only way I can find peace is to let everything behind .. "friends" , family , country , everything . Maybe one day ..