miercuri, 20 februarie 2013

Hate and .. insecurity ?

   You know that moment when you hate someone so much that you are capable of destroying yourself just to take them down with you ?

   When you start hating something/someone you become vulnerable . Why ? Because when you hate someone you can’t hide it . You become a hater and those you hate become your weaknesses. Once that people know at least one of your weaknesses , they can use them against you and eventually they will destroy you . I think that you start hating someone when you're insecure , when you don't have self-confidence .

    Personally , I can say I’m in a dark place right now (that’s probably why I’m writing about hate , taking in consideration that I usually write about positive things ) . I received a lot of information and I guess it’s just too much , I got confused . The good thing is that I know I’m ‘in a dark place’ , I know my weaknesses , I know what I have to change about myself . The bad thing is that I can’t help it , I’m not going to change myself . The worst is that sometimes I like it .
   On the other hand , hate makes you ambitious . When you hate someone , you’re like in a competition with them and this can actually be good for you .

   The worst thing is that the difference between hating someone and getting obsessed with them is a second . A little spark can start a fire , you have to be careful .

   I don’t know if it’s just me but when I hate someone and I find a way to hurt them , I feel untouchable . I know that if I want something , I will get it no matter what . There’s always a better way than hurting someone , even if you hate that person , but sometimes bad feels so good .

             “ Even angels have their wicked schemes
                And you take that to new extremes
                But you’ll always be my hero , even though you’ve lost your mind
                So maybe I’m a masochist
                 I tried to run but I don’t wanna ever leave
                ‘Till the walls are going up in smoke with all our memories “

     I think that just knowing that you can destroy someone's life makes you feel untouchable . But what if after ruining one’s life you start having regrets ? What if all that turns against you ? I , personally , believe in karma . I believe that as you give , so will you get . It’s just that being untouchable feels so good .
    Personally , I never thought about this but .. if you had to choose between regreting that you ruined one's life or not feeling .. untouchable .. ever again , what would choose and why ?
    Truth to be told , we need to feel untouchable . This might sound crazy but we are born with this crazy instinct to kill and I think that feeling untouchable is the only thing that keeps us from .. killing .

7 comentarii:

  1. interesting post.

    what if that someone you hate, actually loves you? what if they don't deserve to be hated? what if you want to destroy someone you don't really know, but you hate him/her?

    why would you hate someone, in the first place?

    as you said, if you show hate, you will be hated, just as you give love, you will find love! :D

    so... love!

    to love your enemies is greater than to hate them.

  2. good point :D the thing is that I don't think you can hate someone if you don't know him/her . you need reasons to hate someone , and those reasons come just after you get to know them . there's a biiiig difference between antipathy and the hate I was talking about :)I was talking about that pure evil hate , when you want to destroy every little part of someone just because their existence is driving you crazy ! don't you hate anyone ?

  3. no. not like that! what's the use? I don't understand why would you hate someone that way?

    on the other hand, if you get to know someone, you will always find something you don't like at all about that person. if you hold to that and that only, you'll never be able to see the good in that person. every living being has a good side and a bad or evil one. it depends on you which side you want him/ her to be! :D

    1. what if you don't want to see the good in the person ? in my case , I don't give a fuck about that person's good side .. but then again , like I said , I'm in 'a dark place' right know and the truth is that I can't see the difference between good and bad . you know when you watch a movie and you're thinking 'why didn't he choose the other way ? ' ? well , when this happens in real life , trust me , it's hard to define what's good and what's not :)

  4. I agree that every person has a good and bad side... sometimes, hate blinds us from seeing the good side of a person who hurts us, especially when there's nothing lovable about that person... I personally hated someone before, it was a legal thing. I hated him so much because if his actions were not stopped, I should have been abducted and raped by him, and who knows, I might be dead this time. Anyway, I was able to escape him and sue him, but the case was not that strong, so he got out from jail after 2 years and I was like so scared to walk in the streets after the rumors of his vengeance. I think time can heal indeed, after all those hatred and fear, I decided to pray everything to God, I can't ask for security because no one is really secured in this world, but I asked God to change his heart... I guess he had a change of heart because he never came back for revenge... I think you too should make it a matter of prayer, you might just be surprised that person you hate would actually start making him/herself lovable to you

    1. I'm really glad you shared this with me . the problem is that I can't trust anyone anymore . I used to trust everybody , and people kept disappointing me . it might not be better but it's easier to stay away from people . this way you won't get hurt . like I said in 'Friendship , Love and other things that complicate life ' , sometimes I wish I was a cold-hearted . I don't believe that people change . they may pretend to have changed , but deep inside , we are who we are .

  5. well, when you love, hurt should come with it, right? when you trust, betrayal comes with it as well.. you can't be happy if you can't feel pain..My colleague shared this thought with us yesterday... she said everyone of us have garbage that we want to throw. Those garbage might be hatred, or pain, or painful memories, or insecurities... Some people would throw their garbage on us, and it's up to us to either keep their garbage and pile it up to ourselves making our soul very dirty, or, simply don't pick up the garbage that they throw on us. I honestly understand you and would encourage you to feel bad from what's happening in your life, that's the only way to release all the bad emotions you have inside.. spit it out like a poison... but you should pick yourself up in a week or so, and don't get stucked in the "darkness"...